31.3.09

savage.


"the clouds are always where you havent been" versificator


so after the game was a played for several hours and the tall boy started to tire, we lay awake naked in our old dirty sheets to smell each others clean skin. milked and wide eyed open he began to run his finger along the nightstand o wicker. the inch of dust was on the limb for a very long a time. and he nevber wiped it away. i took my socks off because i dont like the way they make my feet or toes feel. i get sick sometimes at the thought. so i cut them real short. my toes and fingers. speaking of it. theyre needed a good bitin. cause i can see the whites of my tips and i wanna only see flesh. when i was a little girl i wouldnt have it though. my mum would hold me down while i was kicking and flailin about tryin to get free. after i would not even put a sock on if some one gave me a treat. no. never. im still the same. i really havent changed a whoile lot since then even though some people tell me otherwise. its just because they cant see me. put them specs on then you dirty small thing you. im sick of your ill words. your tiny little words.



i cant drink the milk from my mother or any mother cow because of a choice and a stomach problem. yes. it makes me... my brain hurt inside out out. so i drink the milk from mamma rice and pappa soy. i think they taste much much betta anyway. and i clean my cats ears sometimes so he can hear me telling my secrets. i also tell buster and the large sun. i need to go back to doing healthy things for myself. ive fallen out of touch and i dont fancy it much. where has everything gone off to? i wanna know but somethings tellin me its not my time to find out. so ill take a break for now and dream of leaving the ussabraham drifter drifter where have your moneys gone?! off to search for higher trees. to climb tomorrow. because the only places i havent gone are in my dreams or in the clouds (as buster would mention) yesirr.




19.2.09

bear. loveme.

vegan. i eat in a more intimate way now than i did before. its really hard but well worth it in the end. i will hopefully live a good healthy life as a result.

ahh i feel like im always getting bitched at about something and i can never really do anything right. im getting so irritated about things in my life. i wish the people who say they love me would just start making me feel like they do and stop expecting the most insane things of me. im gonna go run into the woods and never come back. that is where i belong.

you look cute. i like it when you wear those clothes. mister man.

i want to find a new job. i wanna work in a health or organic food store. that way i would also get discounts on food and that would pretty much be fucking amazing.

FUCK!!!! IM SO PISSED! I DONT NEED THIS STRESS FROM THIS ONE PERSON IN MY LIFE WHO IS SUPPOSED TO MAKE THINGS SEEM EASIER AND MORE ENJOYABLE. WHY WONT YOU JUST FUCKING ACCEPT ME AND START BEING NICE. JESUS! FUCK!!!

nietzsche is getting his balls cut off in a few days. i feel really bad about it but i hate it that he humps everything and always sits at the front door wanting to get out and get other hot lady cats pregnant. that would just raise the population of stray cats to 70 million or so and i would really hate that. i already wanna take all of them in to my home and take care of them. but i dont wanna be a crazy cat lady. why not though? right?

GRRRRR. STOP BEING SUCH A FUCKING DOUCHE-BBAAGG! YOU JERK! JUST BE NICE TO ME FOR ONCE.

oh well. im gonna go try to read a book and not die.